Monday, December 29, 2008

Friends Forever



I have been taking a little journey of self discovery lately and loving every minute of it!
When I was 10 my parents bought their first house in Rialto, CA - in what we now call the I.E. (Inland Empire) and where I could not wait to move away from when I was 17!. The best thing about that house was the fact that a single mom and her two daughters moved in right next door right around the same time we did. The crazy thing about these two girls was they shared the exact same birthday two years apart (but polar opposites)! Patty is a year older than me and Christy a year younger (our birthdays are all in the fall). Now Patty being older was way too cool and did not have much tolerance for Christy and I, thankfully we met Karol who lived on the next block and the three of us were pretty much inseparable from the time I was 10 through 17. A lot happened around that time - my parents got divorced when I was 16, my first serious boyfriend, Karol's family moved, etc. Anyways - we were still together for about the next year or so, but nothing like our childhood, and then as these things sometimes happen I just lost touch with them. Completely my own fault, self absorbed, starting a family, very active boys, work alcoholic - I have an excuse for all of it. Between 20 and 39 no contact at all. I often wondered where they were and what they were doing, and then one day out of the blue in 2000 (while at work) I received a phone call from Christy. Seems Denny (always more resourceful than me) went to a reunion site - contacted the person heading up Christy's 20 year High School Reunion who sent Christy a letter on his behalf, and there we were after all these years making excited plans to see each other again. Turns out Christy lives about 20 minutes from where I work - how crazy is that? So we make plans for her to stop by my office . . . . where she completely surprises me by bringing Karol!
More craziness - Karol lives in Huntington Beach - 20 minutes from my house!
Christy and I both married young (exact same Anniversary even!) and have three boys. Karol held out and married later and has a daughter (Erika)- now 12, who is pretty much her spitting image!
Well we still do not see each other as often as I would like (once again my fault as Christy and Karol have been close friends forever with no gaps!), so it is always such a treat when I get to see them. One such occasion was the Saturday before Christmas. Christy had to be in Newport with Joe, her youngest son - which is also where her sister Patty lives, so she decided to spend the night at Karol's. The perfect excuse for a girl's dinner! It was the three of us - Joe, Erika, Karol's mom and Patty who came by later. I have not seen Karol's mom or Patty since High School! I had the best time! I stayed until midnight, and if not for the fact that we are no longer the girls who could stay up all night talking and making crazy plans for our futures I easily could have talked for hours more!
Having friends who knew you as a young girl can be scary and enlightening all at the same time. Karol is completely insightful where I am concerned somehow. She makes comments about my childhood and how it molded me as an adult that I have never thought about or connected. Perfect example "I am not surprised you work in the Entertainment Industry as an adult, when we were kids and you would spend the night we would be watching old movies on the TV, I would fall asleep only to wake up and find you still sitting there glued to the movie until it ended - you loved them!"
I am pretty sure if I really needed (or wanted) to figure out the basis of any of my faults (yes, I admit I have faults!), I could ask Karol and she could pinpoint the exact moment from my childhood that something happened that would correlate!
The other thing I discovered about having been best friends as kids is that different personalities as adults has no bearing on our friendship. Karol the tomboy, Christy the low key, easy going one and then me, the high maintenance girly girl (also known as a total pain in the ass). I know that if I met these two as adults we would not have had enough in common to form a relationship - and I have learned that would be a terrible waste and a shame. I cannot imagine how different my life would have turned out if not for these two amazing people I am proud to call my friends. Next step in my journey is to not label people I have just met. Every person is unique and special to someone. Also to spend more time with Christy and Karol!

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